Start A New Life From Now

I have experienced a few moments when I thought, 'Oh a new life has begun now.'

That is a sensation which you wake up that moment and your life begins from right there, unlike when something happy happens and you feel like 'I can move forward from now.'

It feels like the past does not exist.

But you have something like memories which make you wonder if you might have lived that past.

When I had a car accident when I was little, and when I crushed my face on my friend's concrete kitchen floor in my late 20's, I saw a small white light in the darkness and I was drawn into it and the light became bigger and bigger, then I started to hear sounds and boom my reality started to unfold from there.

Afterwards I found out what happened.

But I did not know who I am, what's happening and where I was right away.

Since I had those experiences, I've been having this sense that every moment is a different reality.

Therefore, sometimes I feel ideas like 'because I've been doing this, I'm this person' and 'I've been doing this job' are just illusions and prejudices.

If you are just projecting your prejudices into reality, then you can stop and be able to start a completely new life from now.

We can all live without the prejudices like age, gender, race or occupation.

The truth is that we just decide those things by ourselves.

Taiyo

僕はこれまでに、「あ、今新しい人生が始まった」という体験を何度かしたことがある。

それは、何かうれしい出来事があって、「今から新しい一歩が踏み出せる」みたいな感覚ではなく、本当にそこで目を覚まし、そこから始まると言う感覚。

過去がない感覚。

でも過去というものがあったかもと思わせる記憶のようなものはある。

子供の頃に交通事故にあったときや、20代後半で友人宅のコンクリート製のキッチンの床に顔面から突っ込んだときは、暗闇の向こうに小さな白い光が見え、そこに吸い込まれて行くと、その光がだんだんと大きくなり、音が聞こえ始め、バっとそこから現実が展開していった。

自分が誰なのか、何が起こっているのか、どこにいるのか、瞬時にはわからない。

何があったのか後で聞かされる。

そういう体験をしているからか、毎瞬毎瞬が違う現実のような気がずっとしている。